Death is not that scary

Death is really not as scary as one may think.

I can say this because I had a close encounter with death when I was 10 yrs old.

It was a drowning incident on my first swimming lesson. I heard I wasn't breathing for about 3 mins when I was pulled out of the water (Dunno how long i was under the water, somehow people thought I was diving and not drowning)

Recalling that incident, I remember when i was trying to get myself out of water, its all pure instinct actions. My mind is a total blank, there are no words in my brain, no thoughts, instinct took over everything. Unfortunately, the instinct movements that was trying to save me was just struggling at best.

Was I scared?

Yes and no.

Yes, I was scared when I gain conscious, i was scared when the tube was forced into my nostrils for the second time (The first time that tube was sucking water from my lungs, it hurt like hell), I was scared when I see an unfamiliar environment in the emergency ward.

And yes, I was scared when i return to the swimming pool again, I was scared to see the coach, i was scared when I was 19 and thinking back again, I was scared when I was 20 and thinking back again...and the fear just got stronger when I get older.

No, i wasn't scared too. I wasn't scared when I was struggling. Recalling now, its pure instinct. When I was 10, I really have nothing to lose at that time. I dun miss school, I wasn't mature enough to understand why my mum is strict on me, and I am sure if instinct had not taken over me totally, I would think "If i die now, it's probably not that bad an idea"

The ironic fact is I got scared of what happened when I get older and older.

Which is very normal, now, i got things to lose.

If i died at 10, I couldn't have discover photography, I could't have met my galfrens, I couldn't have met my buddies, I couldn't have discover the world outside my primary 4 classroom.

I couldn't have written this article about death.

So, death is only scary when we get attached to stuff in this world. We get scared because we have things to lose after we die.

If not, death is not scary.

It just like moving into another phase of life, just that no one who had been there had ever come back to tell you about it. (I wouldn't want someone who died to come back to tell his story anyway)

But it's normal, this happens in real life too. Many people have friends who migrate to another country and lost contact, and never came back. Somehow, if you have not heard that they are dead, it's.....ok. But if you think about it, it's the same as death. This guy who died just go to somewhere, just that this time you are sure he wont keep in touch with you.

So, death itself is not scary. For the buddist, it's part and parcel of your existance in this universe. maybe you don't like it, you just need to have the wisedom to know its "part of the game"

Just like many basketball players hate the "3 second rule", but they got used to it, they think of ways to get around with it, and they live with it.

BUT, it's easier said than done to have this kind of mentality.

Coming from a person who "died" once, and lived for close to 20 years after that, I won't allow myself to die at all costs.

Coming from a person who "died" once, and putting myself in the shoes of myself when I was 10, it's ok to die. I wouldn't specially ask for it, but i wouldn't mind too.

Death NEED not be scary, just how you look at it.